Refreshing Honesty?

The other day in yoga class, I had brought a friend and was excited to make sure she was comfortable in the room, getting her mat set up next to me, etc.  It was a crowded class and so everyone was doing some sort of mat re-arranging for a couple minutes.  I asked the woman next to me if it was OK if she moved her mat a few inches to the side and she responded with what I perceived to be a snide, "Yeah, I'm getting ready to right now!"....but in that passive "I'm-a-peaceful-yogi-and-a-little-annoyed" sort of way.  Her facial expression and tone were similar to mine when I was 16 and bringing out my best passive-aggressive attitude.  (a skill I'm not proud of, and am unfortunately good at...)


And it zinged me a bit, I'm not gonna lie.  For the first part of my practice, I had to "let her comment go" and tell myself over and over that it had more to do with her than me...

...and it took me the first 20 minutes of the class to get there.  After class I was so relaxed that I had convinced myself I'd successfully let all my stresses go and was sufficiently "zen" for at least the next hour.

The next day I ran into my friend at the grocery store, and we got to chatting about the yoga class.  We talked about how great the class was, how friendly the teacher was, what muscles were sore.....

...and then my friend very matter-of-factly said, "What was up with that b*tch in the lycra?"

No buts about it - she called it like it was with no apologies.

And I loved it.

And this is when it came clear to me that I wasn't as zen as I thought I was.  Instead of the zen Christian response of "Oh, what woman?  Oh her?  Oh, I prayed for her right away because she was obviously hurting inside, and good for her for taking time to take care of her body, right?  I hope I get to see her next class!"

No, that wasn't me.

Here's the real me:  "Oh my gosh, thank you!  I thought I was the only one who noticed that!  She was bitchy, wasn't she????  And did you see her during the (fill-in-the-blank) pose, showboatin' on her mat?  Geez, what was her problem? Seriously."

What can I say, I'm not proud of it.

 And this has me thinking....why?  Why do I feel the need to badmouth a woman I don't even know, based on one tiny comment made in a hurtful tone at the beginning of a yoga class?

And not only that, but I fooled myself into thinking I'm "over it" and have let it go.  In actuality, her comment (as benign as it seemed) hurt my feelings.  And I'll be the first to admit that I'm more sensitive than the average person and my skin could definitely be a little thicker.  But for now, it's not, and I'm learning how to live comfortably in the skin I have today.

My question is this:  Where is that "sweet spot" of responding to the hurtful ways of the world?  In between the two extremes of calling a stranger a bitch or praying on-the-spot for them and forgiving them right away?

Sometimes I feel like I'm dancing with two left feet in search of that middle ground.