Listen

I didn't write this.  It's an excerpt from a reading for one of my classes on the importance of communication, and it struck me as something I really need to remember...so I thought it was worth sharing.  Reading it aloud worked well for me:

When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice, you have not done what I asked.


When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.

Why not give the gift of listening, this Valentine's Day?

When I ask you to listen to me, and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me.


Listen!  All I asked was that you listen - not talk or do - just hear me.


When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.


But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you, and get about the business of understanding what's behind this irrational fear.


And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need advice.


Irrational fears make sense when we understand what's behind them.


So please listen and just hear me.


And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn, and then I'll listen to you. 

- Anon (one of my favorite authors....hehe!)